For lease: spacious 3 bedroom apartment, 1½ baths (2 in a pinch), long-standing roach infestation (roaches now domesticated, can be trained for simple tasks), utilities included (gas, H₂O, electric, plasma). Garbage not allowed. Contact Azazel (he will know when).

Apartment for rent: 10 and a half bathrooms, no bedrooms.  Pets ok after 6. Symmetrically located. Kid friendly, in an appropriate way.